Lately, I have been educating parents on keeping our kids safe online.  One of the biggest concerns for parents in the online world, continues to be cyberbulling.  This is a growing trend and has devastating results including low self esteem, alienation and suicide. 

Schools and parents need to begin by addressing bullying at school aggressively in the early elementary years.  Many elementary students don’t know how to handle the situation.  Schools and parents need to make sure kids know what to do when they are a victim.  In addition, schools need to create a “safe” environment for those victims to report the bullying.  Victims will never come forward if they do not feel protected and safe. 

Dr. Michele Borba addresses this issue on her website and in her latest book, The Big Book of Parenting.  We all need to work together in order to reduce school bullying.  Below is one of her most recent postings that she wanted to share the readers at MomsMaterial, thanks Michele!

7 Ways to Reduce School Bullying by Dr. Michele Borba

A disturbing new study on bullying was  released at the American Public Health Association’s 137th Annual Meeting & Exposition. The study was conducted by lead reseachers H. Wesley Perkins, PhD, Jessica M. Perkins, Ms. and David W. Craig, PhD. who used anonymous online surveys completed by over 10,000 middle school students to determine where bullying is most likely to occur on school campuses. I was asked by FOX News to report those results and make recommendations.

Here are a few of the study highlights as well as the recommendations I give schools to reverse this troubling trend:

    *  Two-thirds of middle school students report they were bullied in the past month

    *  Students reported being victims of many types of bullying behaviors

    *  Within the most recent month, 43 percent of students had been physically bullied

    * Within the most recent month 51 percent of students had been teased in an unfriendly way; 50 percent called hurtful names; 31 percent excluded from a group to hurt their feelings; 28 percent had belongings taken or broken; 39 percent had an unkind rumor spread about them; and 21 percent were threatened to be hurt

    * Within the most recent month 66 percent of the middle school students had been the victim of multiple bullying behaviors

    * Being bullied in the classroom (as compared with being bullied in other areas of the school) was correlated with a higher tendency among students to feel threatened and unsafe at school

    * The classroom, lunchroom and hallways at school were the places where victimization was most prevalent (50 percent to 57 percent of all students in each of these settings)

    * All other areas of the school campus had much lower incidents of bullying (19 percent to 37 percent)

    * Eight percent of those students bullied had skipped school at least once due to fear of others hurting or making fun of them

    * One out of every four students had skipped recess, not gone to the bathroom, lunch or a class, pretended to be sick and went home, or avoided a hallway or some other place at school to avoid a bully

Bottom line: Studies show that bullying is intensifying in our schools. Those one-time “Stop Bullying” assemblies or posters plastered on walls are ineffective in reducing this behavior. The best approach to stop bullying (which CAN be done) is always data-driven and evidence based. It takes school-wide commitment and the consistency of all stakeholders.

Here are a few important lessons from this new study and my own Seven R’s to REDUCE Bullying I use in my work in schools. These have effectively reduced violence, aggression and bullying behaviors school-wide and became the basis of the Proposal to End School Violence (SB1667) I wrote for the state of California.

1. REALIZE NEGATIVE IMPACT: Bullying must be taken seriously and it has deadly consequences to not only a child’s feelings of emotional safety but also to the entire learning culture. Bullying is learned. It is also intensifying, pervasive and starting at younger ages. Schools most effective at reducing this behavior recognize it is a serious problem. Educational authorities must put the reduction of bullying as a high priority.

2. REVIEW DATA AND BE EVIDENCE BASED: Schools who are best at reducing bullying use their own data based on anonymous surveys of their students to determine bullying frequency, location and intensity. Those educators then get on board together, review solid research-based proven strategies to turn this behavior around (such as Ken Rigby’s approach in Australia and Dan Olweus in Norway) and stay committed.

3. SET CLEAR RULES AGAINST CRUELTY ANNOUNCED TO ALL: Educators must announce to their students that this behavior is not only inappropriate but will be closely monitored. There will be consequences and students will be held accountable. Parents, students and educators are jointly aware of the consequences. All educators must be trained how to respond to bullying each and every time.

4. RECOGNIZE BULLYING SIGNS: All stakeholders must learn to recognize now only what bullying is what the signs of bullying. Educating adults via workshops, newsletters, and parent workshops is critical. All adults are on the “same page.” Bullying always has three components: 1. A negative, cruel intent; 2. Repeated aggression or cruel behavior; 3. A power imbalance (one child can not hold their own against the perpetrator). There are also five types of bullying: physical, verbal, emotional, sexual and electronic. While physical bullying is usually the easiest to spot (hitting, kicking, shoving, slamming resulting in bumps and bruises) and verbal bullying can be heard (racial slurs, homophobic comments, cruel, vicious comments) other types of bullying are more difficult to decipher: emotional (exclusion, shunning, rejection, rumors), sexual or electronic (cyberbullying, sexting, images).  In fairness to educators, most bullying in classrooms happens when a teacher’s back is turned, a substitute is present or in rooms where the “home room” teacher is not there and of the more subtle type. Bullying peaks at middle schools where students also have multiple teachers. And remember that  bullies are also smart and cunning: they know how to do their cruel deeds and how to get away with them.

5. SET ANONYMOUS REPORTING OPTIONS:  One of the simplest ways to determine where bullying is happening on a school campus (as well as the time and who bullies are) is with a Report Box. The box is wooden or metal and designed like a mailbox (open slot on top) with a bolt lock.. Boxes are distributed in several locations around the school (libraries, office, classrooms). Students may then write any threats they experienced or witnessed and insert them in the boxes. Principals and teachers are able to track those responses and make bullies accountable as well as keep track as to where students do not feel safe.

6. RECOGNIZE HOT SPOTS BASED ON DATA AND BOOST ADULT VISIBILITY: Bullying is most prone to happen in certain school locations: bathrooms, lunchrooms, classrooms and hallways. Research in Norway by Dan Olweus found that boosting adult supervision (even putting up mirrors and video cameras—if you can’t afford film don’t put it in –just don’t tell the kids!) or student hall monitors in identified hot spots reduces bullying by almost FIFTY PERCENT! (One North Penn principal made a full size cardboard likeness of herself with a sign that said, “I’m watching you! You’ll never know when I’m going to show up!” and stuck it in the hall. Clever!)

6. REBUILD A CULTURE OF CARING AND MOBILIZE YOUR BYSTANDERS: Research also shows that best hope we have for reducing bullying is to change the school culture by boosting empathy and compassion. One way to do so is to mobilize the bystanders who are witnessing bullying. Studies at the University of Toronto show that students who step in within the first ten seconds can effectively stop bullying. The trick is teaching students how to step in so they will not be hurt, mobilize their empathy so they will step in and teach strategies so they know what they can do to effective stop a bullying incident. Students also need to know which adults to turn to who will believe them and respond. Seventy-five percent of bullying starts as verbal abuse and then escalates. A key is to stop bullying before it escalates.

7. RETEACH HABITS AND RECOGNIZE REPEAT BULLIES AND BULLIED:  The final step is for counselors and teachers to identify those students who are repeat bullies (a child who bullies at age eight has a one in four chance to have a criminal record by the age of 26!) and the bullied (repeated victimization can do severe emotional damage to a child). Both the bully and the bullied will need specific help to change their behavior habits.

Bullying can be reduced but only with certain methods. We know what works. It’s now up to adults to step up and implement proven, effective techniques. There is never an excuse for bullying. Enough!

You can find the original article and Dr. Michele Borba’s website by clicking here.

For more strategies, signs of bullying, how to recognize and discuss bullying with your child, as well as dozens of other proven solutions refer to The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries by Michele Borba Bullying (pg 332); Bullied (pg 323); Cyberbullying (pg 602).

About Dr. Michele Borba

Dr.Michele Borba is a TODAY contributor and regular parent expert on shows including The View, CNN and Dr. Phil. She is an educational psychologist, former teacher and mom who is recognized for her solution-based strategies to strengthen a child's behavior and character.Titles include PARENTS DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, NO MORE MISBEHAVIN', BUILDING MORAL INTELLIGENCE, and 12 SIMPLE SECRETS REAL MOMS KNOW. Her latest book is THE BIG BOOK OF PARENTING SOLUTIONS: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. Blog: www.micheleborba.com or twitter: @micheleborba.